Day 1. Part 4...the end

So, fortunately I did not get arrested and my guide did not have to bail me out of a Chinese jail...but it got dicey.

See, I said I wanted to shop for purses, she brought us to the multiple floored Shopping place called Silk Market, every floor sells something different, electronics, pearls, shoes, purses, clothes...and she said she would meet us back in the lobby in one hour. She informed me that after spending the day with me that she thought I would be fine upstairs on the purse floor but watch out for my mom, they are going to try to "really get her".

I had zero idea what this conversation meant but whatever, we hit the escalator, got off on the next floor and then-HOLY (@)&$ $:&;@)...i would really like to write what I actually said but I also want my children to be able to read this one day...just insert here what you known I really said when we were literally accosted by women from every direction, like five of them sticking stuff up in our faces and freaking grabbing us, pulling us back as we tried to walk past them, it sounded like a damn chicken coop and i liter rally was feeling this urge to scream right in their faces a touch louder than they were chattering at us. Give them a taste of their own selling technique. I gave looks to little ladies that I have never given before. We just jerked our arms out of their grabbing hands and plowed into the luggage room, no commotion in there..re-compose...

Seriously...what the he'll just happened!?!

I already knew this wasn't going to work, but we had to leave, pretty much through the same area we endeared, there are just rows and rows or stalls jammed together, merchandise crammed in everywhere...I would have loved to browse through the stalls, we both wanted purses...when we arrived, now we wanted a weapon, or at least a gladiator shield.

We had to go back in...1,2,3....lady don't freaking touch me again...you, don't pull me, ....I will not buy anything from you while you yell in my face...

Walk, tell someone off, walk, walk, give her the hand, give her the stink eye....walk, walk..spin move, back off lady, ...walk,walk, nope, not buying, don't want any, leave us alone, back off...

See two girls, corner booth two rows before the escalator, not actively lunging at us, not preparing to run at us, not moving their mouths...

Decide to make approach and test the waters...one appeared docile and polite...other had potential for mayhem...must jump in and control the environment quickly....

Me: ok, you, don't touch me...we want to look, if you get in my face we are leaving...got it.

See all those people back there...they got no dollars from us. I can buy a purse at home and not deal with this crap so lets keep this pleasant.

Silence...this might be working

Her ( the docile one) you want see catalog...hmm as a matter of fact I do...
So we went from WWF smack down to browsing through a catalog, a mere 10 feet from the hyena like scavengers in the other booths...this was working so far....they kept pulling out bags from under the counter, behind the counter...I think they had 3000 purses crammed in a 30 sq ft booth, asking us what we liked, pulling out more..the process continued, we narrowed it down to a few...little diva started getting aggressive again, it was killing her ...every time she got mouthy, I ignored her and would only look at and talk to the nice girl. She actually started getting bitchy with the nice girl...saying that she answered to her...It was obvious that she didn't t want me negotiating prices with the nice one.

I pushed them for apprise and then laughed at them, I am talking like 2000-3000 RMB...($300-400 USD) Whatever! Apparently that word translates in all languages. I told then that we needed to look at something about 1/3 that price so pull out something cheaper or we were gone. I told them I have plenty of places at home where I can drop that on a purse...I did t come here to pay what I pay at home.

I got what I wanted for what I wanted to pay...ok, of course they then pounced on my mom saying that because I bought one they would give her same price, buy more it cheaper!

After the initial assault my mom was over it...she didn't want a purse...she was really peeved at little diva for being mean to the nice girl..she was dead to my mom, you pick on nice girl...you get no dollars from Lee Aycock!

So...this whole exchange took 20 minutes...seemed like hours!
We left the market, walked down the street, found a dairy queen and had soft serve cones and laughed for a good 30 minutes. We only wish that my grandmother from Lousiana was with us...we decided that she would have taken someone's head off with her handbag...for her it is a lethal weapon...I think she would have used it!

Oh and to see my husband in the middle of that mess...I don't know what he would have done with all those women grabbing and pulling on him and shoving stuff in his face...hmmm

I think he would have been absolutely silent, his face would have been crimson...sweat beading up on his forehead and he would have either had a heart attack from trying to restrain himself....or reverted back to high school football, put one of us under each arm and ran for the inzone...escalator...

I don't know if I would have been scared for his health or just wet my pants laughing at him trying not to punch a gaggle of yelling grabbing women...but I would love to see it none the less!


Afterwards it was just funny...and there are seriously many friends I would love to drop into that mess and video the exchange...hysterical culture clash!!!

So after that comic relief we walked around Teinemen Square..it is massive...fits half a million people...seriously huge space!

Interesting people watching...then jumped back in with the driver , hit the grocery store for diet cokes that cost 50 cents instead of $4.25 each at the hotel!

So now it is 3:00 am and I need to try and sleep for a few hours before we start day 2...the Great Wall!

Tara

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